Loose beads - Part #3
I don’t like to party on the New Year’s Eve and I hate Januaries. The first thing I find distressing because 1) I hate doing anything under pressure and it feels like you HAVE TO go out that evening and have fun; 2) I never really had a great New Year’s Eve party, they all were either a complete disaster or just mediocre fun, usually not worth its money or distance traveled. And I hate the first month of the year because it is so long (full 31 days), dull and dark. The days are still very short (I know they do get longer, but it’s not to be noticed yet). And on top of it there are no holidays to give you a little time to exhale. Grrrrose.
Nevertheless, I do make New Year’s resolutions. I will not promise one thing which I always have - which is to lose weight. Never happens anyways, so I won’t even bother. This way I won’t have this horrible feeling of failure. I promise to take more exercise, though, and also not to curse, and I hope to keep these! Another one is to attend more cultural events. And my main resolution is simply to be happy. To think about myself in the first place. I figured out long ago (and this time I WILL try to stick to it) that before you can share yourself you must feel happy and be fulfilled. You must come to terms with yourself, you must like yourself to notice others, otherwise you’re focused on your problems. Let alone that no one really wants a piece of miserable you. I swear to listen to my intuition, it has never failed me. If it says you must be careful - watch out; if it says that person is not for you - leave them. Think about yourself! It’s no point in trying to make someone happy if you are not... I am not recommending anyone to become self-centered, neurotic or insensitive to others. But I am convinced that in order to make your life and the life of people around you easier and nicer you must be just slightly egoistic.
So that’s my profound and complex philosophy for the year 2005. Something tells me it will be a very important year for me. It depends on me if it will be a good one...