It is too difficult:(

Hello everybody :P I wish I spoke fluently English but I can't I really try but I can not. Yesterday I find podcasy this is very helpful but I do not understend too. Peolpe say that I must learn English very systematically so I learn everyday. I write this blog I hear free english lessons and read storys but I feel that my language is not good. I am very stubborn and I am not surrender and I will speak fluently in English. I really miss to my mum and my dad I want to be with them but I can't I did not think that studies is so difficult. I will write somethin every day and I hope that my blog will be better every day :*