E-angielski.com

Can you speak English? Jeden z najlepszych jakie do tej pory słyszałem ;)

Dodaliśmy napisy dla łatwiejszego zrozumienia ;)

Tourist: Excuse me, excuse me, sorry, do you speak English?
Local 1: No, I don't sorry. {He is clearly speaking English.}
Tourist: Oh...ummm...my car is broken down. I wonder if you could tell me where to find a garage. [garage=mechanic=car repair shop]
Local 1: Ya...well..you know, that's wasted on me. I don't understand what you are saying. [that's wasted on me=I don't understand]
Tourist: You don't speak any English at all?
Local 1: Not a word. No...that's one of those thing really. I wish I paid more attention in school but ummm..
Excuse me, excuse me, sorry but do you speak any English?
Local 2: English? No. What's the problem?
Local 1: I don't know. I can't understand her.
Tourist: Hi ummm...my car is broken down and I need to find a garage.
Local 2: No, I am sorry, I didn't understand that at all.
Tourist: All right. Well thanks.
Local 1: Ah...tell you what if you go down that way about half a mile there's a village. Um, there might be somebody there that speaks English.
Tourist: {Speaks German}
Local 1: {Responds in German saying he can't speak German. Then asks Local 2 can you speak German?}
Local 2: {Responds in German saying no he can't speak German.}
Local 1: I'm sorry we couldn't be of more help.
Local 2: Sorry about that. Hey you never know, next time yo are over maybe we would have learned a bit of English for you.
Local 1: {Speaking in German saying or maybe we could speak German.}
Local 2: {Speaking in German agrees}
Tourist: Thanks anyway.
Local 1: I can speak English.
Local 2: So can I.

Przy okazji, skoro się nabijali z nich, to można powiedzieć: they were taking the piss

Słownik
a car's broken down - auto się zepsuło
I wonder if you could - [zwrot grzecznościowy] Zastanawiam się czy mógłby Pan/Pani
find a garage - znaleźć warsztat samochodowy
That's wasted on me = That's a waste of time talking to me. nie rozumiem -> rozmowa ze mną to strata czasu
not a word - ani słowa
I wish I'd paid more attention - Żałuję, że nie przywiązywałem (do tego) większej wagi
I didn't understand that at all. - Wcale tego nie zrozumiałem.
Tell you what - Wiesz co?/ Coś ci powiem.
go down that way [BrE spoken] - iść tamtą drogą
Next time you're over - następnym razem jak będziesz w pobliżu
a bit of - trochę
So can I - ja też (potrafię)