Politically correct English

W nawiązaniu do tematu odnośnie poprawności politycznej: Politically correct English, poniżej kilka dodatkowych wyrażeń, które wg pewnych ludzi powinny być zastąpione, jako iż mogą być obraźliwe dla pewnych grup społecznych:

Politically Correct Terms For Females:

  • Her breasts will never sag; they will lose their vertical hold.
  • She does not get drunk, she is accidentally over served or she becomes verbally dyslexic.
  • She does not get PMS, she becomes hormonally homicidal.
  • She does not hate sports on TV, she is athletically biased.
  • She does not have a great butt, she is gluteus to the maximus.
  • She does not have a hard body, she is anatomically inflexible.
  • She does not have a killer body, she is terminally attractive.
  • She does not have big hair, she is overly aero soled.
  • She does not have big hooters, her cups runneth over.
  • She does not have great cleavage or a great rack, her breasts are centrally located.
  • She does not have sexy lips, she is collagen dependent.
  • She does not shave her legs, she experiences temporary stubble reduction.
  • She does not shop too much; she is overly susceptible to marketing ploys.
  • She does not snore, she is nasally repetitive.
  • She does not sun bathe, she experiences solar enhancement.
  • She does not wear too much makeup, she is cosmetically oversaturated.
  • She does not work out too much, she is an abdominal overachiever.
  • She does not: Get Drunk, She becomes Verbally Dyslexic
  • She is not a bad cook, she is microwave compatible.
  • She is not a bad driver, she is automotively challenged.
  • She is not a gossip, she is a verbal terminator.
  • She is not a Perfect 10, she is numerically superior.
  • She is not cold or frigid, she is thermally incompatible.
  • She is not easy, she is horizontally accessible.
  • She is not hooked on soap operas, she is melodramatically fixated.
  • She is not too skinny, she is skeletally prominent.
  • She will never gain weight; she will become a metabolic underachiever.
  • You do not ask her to dance; you request a precoital rhythmic experience.

Politically Correct Terms For

Politically Correct Terms For Cat Owners:

  • My cat does not barf hairballs he is a floor/rug redecorator
  • My cat does not break things she helps gravity do its job
  • My cat does not fear dogs they are merely sprint practice tools
  • My cat does not gobble she eats with alacrity
  • My cat does not scratch he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator
  • My cat does not yowl he is singing off-key
  • My cat is not a "shedding machine" she is a hair relocation stylist
  • My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile" she enjoys the proximity of food
  • My cat is not a bed hog he is a mattress appreciator
  • My cat is not a chatterbox she is advising me on what to do next
  • My cat is not a dope addict she is catnip appreciative
  • My cat is not a lap fungus he is bed selective
  • My cat is not a pest she is attention deprived
  • My cat is not a ruthless hunter she is a wildlife control expert
  • My cat is not evil she is badness enhanced
  • My cat is not fat he is mass enhanced
  • My cat is not hydrophobic she has an inability to appreciate moisture
  • My cat is not lazy he is motivationally challenged
  • My cat is not underfoot she is leading me to my next destination (the food dish!)

Politically Correct Phrases

Politically Correct Phrases For Students:

  • No one fails a class any more; he's merely "passing impaired.
  • " You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed.
  • " Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's just "passage restrictive.
  • " These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined.
  • " Your locker isn't overflowing with junk; it's just "closure prohibitive.
  • " Kids don't get grounded any more. They merely "hit social speed bumps.
  • " Your homework isn't missing, it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience.
  • " You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness.
  • " You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time
  • ." You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome.
  • " You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear.
  • " No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced.
  • " You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective.
  • " You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal.
  • " You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations.
  • " It's not called gossip any more. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information.
  • " The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

Politically Correct Terms

Politically Correct Terms For Males:

  • He does not have a beer gut; - he develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
  • He does not: Hog the blankets - He is: Thermally unappreciative
  • He is not: Unsophisticated - He is: Socially malformed
  • He does not: Eat like a pig - He suffers from: Reverse bulimia
  • He is not: A sex machine - He is: Romantically automated
  • He is not a: Male chauvinist pig - He has: Swine empathy
  • He is not: Quiet - He is a: Conversational minimalist
  • You do not: Undress him with your eyes -  You have a: Introspective pornographic moment
  • He is not: Afraid of commitment - He is: Monogamously challenged
  • He does not have a: Fabulous rear end - He has achieved: Buttocks perfection cranial development
  • He does not: Get lost all the time - He discovers: Alternative destinations
  • He is not: Balding - He is in: Follicle regression
  • You do not: Buy him a drink -  You initiate an: Alcohol-For-Conversation exchange
  • He does not: Fart and belch - He is: Gastronomically expressive
  • His jeans are not: Too tight He is: Anatomically under circulated
  • He is not a: Redneck He is a: Genetically- related American
  • You do not: Kiss him -  You become: Facially conjoined
  • He is not a: Cradle robber-  He prefers: Generationally differential relationships
  • He does not get: Falling down drunk - He becomes: Accidentally horizontal
  • He does not: Act like a total jerk - He develops a: Case of rectal-cranial inversion
  • He is not: Short - He is: Anatomically compact
  • He does not have a: Rich daddy -  He is a: Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion
  • He does not: Constantly talk about cars -  He has a: Vehicular addiction
  • He does not have a: Hot body - He is: Physically combustible
  • He is not: Stupid - He suffers from: Minimal