e-angielski

Rowan Atkinson "With Friends Like These" z napisami w języku polskim.

Uwaga! Ze względu na wulgarne słownictwo, film jest polecany tylko starszym użytkownikom naszej strony.

A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off.

Zakaz sprzedaży jajek i mąki na terenie Wielkiej Brytanii dla osób poniżej 18 roku życia..... Zakaz obowiązuje prawdopodobnie tylko w LIDLu, tam też zauważyliśmy ten znak!

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"
"What denomination?" the clerk asks.
"Oh my God! Has it come to this then?" asks the blonde. "Well okay, give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, and 32 Baptist."

One year, a particular harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I
bought you last year!"

If IBM ran Christmas...
They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for
their present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36
hours of mainframe processing time.

Once upon a time, in the Christmas Tree Forest there lived the
Christmas fairies. They spent most of their time practising
sitting on top of the Christmas trees. There was just one rule
they had to stick to... it was strictly forbidden for a fairy to
kiss anyone! The trouble was that Floella was a wicked little fairy. One day

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods
searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with
hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, “I’m
chopping down the next tree I see. I don’t care whether it’s
decorated or not!”

Timmy, age 4 went to see Santa for the first time, and he asked Santa for lots of toys.

The next day, his mother and Timmy had to go out and do some more shopping. They saw Santa again and
Timmy sat on Santas lap a second time.
When Santa asked Timmy what he wanted for Christmas, he said in a
questioning voice