Anglia oczyma Anglików - nonsensopedia

England or England (from the Old Germanic ENG-A-LOND,


 

(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "I'm not a racist but..." (formerly "Tally Ho! What what. Jolly good show.")
Anthem: "God Smite the Scots, the bloody French, the Germans, etc."
Capital Wintanceastre
Largest city Eoforwic
Official languages Hindi, Pakistani, Iranian, Arabic, Chavish, Ald Englisc, Wanker (see Cockney).
Government Scottish Over-Class, English Under-Class.
 Elderman  The Queen
National Hero(es)  
Declaration
Currency Crumpets, Scones and Biscuits
Religion Football
 Population Total: 60,000,000
Foreigners: 60,000,000
Racists: 100% and climbing
Chavs: Too many to count
Bloody French: None that live...
Germans: The Monarchy
 Area 32 Square scones
 Favourite pastime Moaning about the weather, moaning about queues, moaning about politicians and moaning about foreigners. And not being American.

meaning "Land of Football Hooligans") refers to the place Chris Columbus told everyone he was from when he invented America, the land of the free. People from England are most famous for being mostly sepia and dressing in a suit and tie, regardless of the occasion, along with a top hat, a monocle, and a funny curly moustache. It is not currently known how the English female dresses, although speculative theories suggest that they would dress in some sort of appropriate garb. Another notable attribute of the English is the funny way in which they speak. They seem to omit most of their Rs - unless they are Northern and thus have too much Rs! - and have different vowel sounds to the rest of us. We have yet to comment on this, though, as we feel that they may be making fun of us, so we usually laugh nervously and look the other way, or change the subject.

It is common knowledge that England invented all sports. It is also common knowledge that if the sport turns out to be any good, then England immediately become rubbish at it. England's national sport should not be confused with its religion, football. Its actual national sport is Tiddlywinks.

England has a tradition of being knocked out in the quarter finals of any competition. Failure to live up to this tradition is seen as disrespectful and should be avoided. Occasionally they like to get knocked out in the final, though this is a rare occurrence (the chances of England getting to a final is next to nothing).

 More at: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/England